A fun weekend ahead

I'm feeling a bit better today, (luckily) I managed to get in some much needed baby time last night and much needed me time! (sleep and a bubble bath anyone?)

This weekend should prove to be fun, tomorrow we are taking Hudson to Mapleside Farms for hayrides apple and pumpkin picking, it's damn near tradition to take your kid to a pumpkin patch and have his picture taken among the big pumpkins. Kind of reminds me of the Peanuts The Great Pumpkin special and Linus in the Pumpkin Patch.

Then it's home to go decorate for Halloween!!!! WEEEEEE!!!! yeah just a little bit too excited about that LOL.

Sunday we go visit my mother AND Grandmother, of which i am not sure that I mentioned are BOTH in the SAME nursing home!!!!

So yes pictures will indeed be had......

BTW:

I am lusting over these

And this


Annnnnnnd this......SIGH

Have a great one!

Down in it

It's been a stressful few weeks, the accumulation of everything that is going on, (moms health,phones have been ringing off the hook at work on a constant daily basis,trying to get my freelance business moving, staying up late on work nights just to get stuff done for clients, balancing work, life, marriage then more work AND things I want to do) have once again cast me into a dark hole. Most times I can't get my brain to shut down long enough to rest. Not to mention the on coming change in seasons have rendered me frustrated and depressed.
Last night after staying up way too late doing invoices and project descriptions, I found my self standing in front of my medicine cabinet,staring at the collection of pills I have. Like my mother I am a medical pack rat of sorts, I live with a "don't pitch that medication because you may need it someday" I had had anger in my bones all day, I was in a horrible mood, literally felt like raw anger and unsettled energy was pulsating in my body, it was uncomfortable and unnerving.I wanted it to go away, just something to take the edge off, I had my choice of percoset, clonopin, l-triptophan supplements, Valium ect. I relented closed the cabinet and decided on a hot shower, I though I would sit down and start crying,I WANTED to cry, but no tears came. The only thing that I can compare it to is a burp that you really need to get out, but wont come out,so the pressure builds and builds in your chest wall, until your pretty sure your having chest pains. Cept this pain was in my veins, and a feeling of extreme sorrow in my heart. I say in there for 30 minutes until the water ran cold and it was light years past my bed time. I returned to the cabinet and ended up settling on a benadryl, just because I knew it would relax me enough to shut my mind off and go to sleep. I got into bed, the husband rolled over, no snuggles no hugs nothing, i laid on my pillow and cried until the benadryl did it's thing and drifted me off to sleep.

I cant say I woke up feeling any better. The joy of my morning was watching Hudson eat breakfast,looking at those cute little chubby cheeks move back and forth as he stuff peaches and cereal bar in his funny little face. he is my daily hero.

Nothing worth working for was ever acquired easily, and I do feel like I am working for the betterment of me....someday.....it's just going to take time, a little patience and alot pain.

Moms surgery

A short and sweet update, my mother had her surgery yesterday, they removed a tumor about the size of a golf ball from her pancreas, and actually had to remove the whole upper half of her pancreas, they are certain that it was cancerous, but they feel they got it all, we will not know what stage it is in until the lab results come back. Once they do, they will determine if she will undergo Chemo, radiation, or both.
They are giving her three months to recover, then they will start the treatment.Last night she was in the ICU but this morning she borrowed a nurses cell phone and called my dad, letting him know that she is doing so well, they are moving her to a regular room later today.

She is still not out of the woods, we now have to watch for blood clots, infection and her sutures giving way, her tissues are very soft due to being on steroids for so long so the sutures holding is a small concern. Her lung function isn't super good, but ok, her heart liver and kidneys are running strong. And her vitals are excellent.
She also has a feeding tub that runs from inside of her nose through her stomach and into her lower bowel. Just until her stomach gets back to working order.

I go see her tomorrow after work.

The surgery was 6 hours long and we were at the hospital for over 10 hours, but my father and I got to talk and bond and walk around the hospital, it was nice to spend good time together. Afterwards, he took me out to dinner for Pulled pork sandwiches and beer. Then I came home and passed out! SO tired.

I will update you more as I know it.!

Busy bee

Hi Kids! Just a brief update, things have been getting better in my life recently and I have been so flipping busy!

MOM My mother has been in a nursing home for about a week now, getting her strength up for surgery, she seems to do better and better each day, and I only pray that it stays that way. Sunday, Hudson and I went to visit her, she had a ball playing with him, and he had a GREAT time, running around the halls and walking into people’s rooms’ lol. Luckily the residents didn’t mind at all, and were glad to see a happy little face. We brought her homemade chicken soup and blueberry muffins. It really seemed to get her spirits up. We plan on going back again this Sunday, and let’s just say I will need to make sure I have my running shoes on lol!


Hudson tearing up the Nursing home, with his great grandmother. Sorry if its side ways I cant figure out how to fix it!


JEWELRY I have accomplished SO much with my jewelry making, I got 2 a pairs of rose earrings made, one is a gift the other ones are for me ,A silver necklace with cobalt blue pearls, a necklace special order for a friend. AND started on a necklace for myself. Yes I will post photos soon.

DESIGN
GOODY GOODY GOODY! My Brand new MAC PRO is on its way! I cannot wait, and will be tracking that sucker every second until it lands on my doorstep! It has a dual processor, tons of memory AND I got Adobe InDesign to go with it, SWOON!!!! I know I know I’m such a freaking nerd :P On another note, I got a freelance client the other day, (thank you Lisa!) who wants me to develop a brand identity for her husbands’ new security company. I am REALLY excited for this opportunity, because it will allow me to develop some nice portfolio pieces and get my feet wet again. I’m nervous, but I have a new found confidence that has come from somewhere, I don’t know, maybe it’s just age!

STINKY LIL MAN Hudson has been great; however he recently started regressing in his sleep habits. For four months he did SO well, I could put him down in his crib awake but drowsy and he would just play with no problem or babble to his stuffies until he fell asleep. Now it’s like suddenly there is some strange force field over the crib that makes him scream like killer clowns are in his room, when I so much as put him OVER the crib. So much so in fact, that I have resorted to rocking him to sleep, and then slipping him in his crib, which I really would have NO issue with, if he didn’t wake up at 12:30 am and start screaming again, then I rock him back to sleep again, try to slip him back into his crib, tip toe out of the room and just as soon as I think I am successful, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHHAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! In a tone that China could hear during a snowstorm.UGH. So Hello sleepless nights, I hoped we wouldn’t meet again, but since we are both here….. He also has become accustomed to throwing his food off of his tray, and when I say throw I mean
OVERHANDED BASEBALL PITCHING THROW. Then looks at me matter of factly like “oh yes woman, I just threw my food, what are you going to do about it?” But on a good non complaining note, he is running around, picking things up for me, doing cute stuff like bringing books to me to read to him, getting along with the puppy (or should I say the puppy is getting along with HIM, an din return Hudson is not pulling his tail, poking him in the eye or any other undesirable orifice for that matter), and giving kisses, every so often. He is my little love butt for sure. So that’s all for now! I have a post I am working on for posting hopefully tomorrow. See you then! XOXOXOO

Killing the Clutterbug

I am a mess....not just me personally (see other blog posts) but my house! My car! My Work desk! My purse (all 16 of them) It's a long standing problem that I have tried over and over to remedy, but never to any avail, at least not for long. Now that i am a mother, it seems things are even more cluttered AND i have less time to unclutter them, as a matter of fact, the clutter seems to build faster now. My living room is littered with baby toys and various little trucks. The dining are is littered with my husbands work boots and my shoes and little man shoes. Kitchen has several "drop site" where junk mail and bills are often left to pile up for daaaayyzz. Bedrooms are scattered with underwear, clothes, orphan socks and lonely single shoes. And dont even get me started on the two bathrooms can you say hair stuff???

As I was in the shower last night I was looking around and realize I have too much STUFF!! Most of it I use,but some stuff is either a double, because I bought another thing I didn't need to replace the on I already had but couldn't find! OR something I swore I would use daily and that I NEEDED (Velcro rollers anyone?)

I happen to do the same thing with vitamins, I have every vitamin you could imagine crammed in my tiny Kitchen cabinets, and I cant throw out ANY of them because then HOW WOULD I BECOME A SUPER HEALTHY NON VITAMIN DEFICIENT HUMAN BEING??....Well turns out you have to TAKE them damn things for them to do any good...huh..go figure.

Same with my craft room, its has tons of stuff I don't use often, but I think the trick there is to just get it all into a nice organized area where I don't have to deal with it every day, because I do use all my craft stuff, just more seasonally (scrapbooking and sewing and knitting and cross stitch in the winter) (Clay, jewelry and drawing in the summer) ( I WISH this was my craft room.)


I have to get it all under control, because in those rare instances when I do get a whole day to my self and do go to town organizing, and the house IS organized for like 3 days, I find stuff easier and am able to get more done, because get this I KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS! But the organization never lasts long, because old habits die really hard, AND I have a REALLY small house with like no closet space. Which means we have to put our brooms and mops down in the basement.

I am really just tired of my house looking like a hurricane went through it, I know that I am not going to fix ALL clutter, because obviously Hudson is going to have toys, and that's only going to get worse, the best that I can do there is keep up on what he no longer plays with and put it in the attic.

Alot of my problem, is that I am too tired, by the end of the day after I have taken care of baby and cooked and worked 8 hours, I really don't feel like putting things away, so I am going to have to just make it easier to put stuff away.
Last week i managed to lose my glasses, my work pass AND my phone charger. Hudson had the charger, but I have torn up hell looking for my work pass and glasses, and they are no where to be found. Starsky is probably at home with everything right now using my glasses as a chew toy. And the work pass? Hell if I know!



But we really need to go through the babies the husbands clothes and mine and donate donate donate.

In light of all of this, here are some websites that I am currently diving into for any of you that may be interested. I hope that this weekend I can get SOME stuff decluttered.

http://365-days-of-organization.blogspot.com
http://getorganizedtips.blogspot.com

http://unclutterer.com/

and if anyone has any tips they would like to share PLEASE DO!!

Reprieve

Mom has been doing better this week,we still have along road ahead, but at least she is currently stable, here are some photos I have been meaning to get up from the yearly Kar Kulture Show and Hudsons first birthday. Enjoy!

Hudson and my dad playing at my parents house, bad pic, but they were so cute~!
MMMMM CAKE

All Hudsons little friends~!

Hudson and his girrrlfriend playing before the party

Me and the Hubbys car

Lil man driving daddys car ( losing his britches)

Whatch out world!

My love

Me and the lil man!

Super cute coin purse I bought from a vendor at the show, lots of cute stuff! Go to www.retroroost.com!

They even have bacon flavored Jelly beans (ick) They were nice enough to give Hudson a sticker AND a cupcake shaped banaid, they rock!

Speedbumps in life

I had a few other things that I wanted to write about, unfortunately life is sometimes more than fashion and happiness.

I got a call last night that my mom has contracted Hepatitis, they are not sure if it is a b or c, but we will know by Monday. This worries me greatly, my mothers immune system is compromised enough as it is, I am just hoping this doesn't push it all over the edge.

They aren't sure how she contracted it, they are quite stumped by it (they being doctors) but she is yellow from head to toe, nauseous, tired, weak, and if she starts throwing up, she needs to go to the emergency room.

Grandma and My Mother, at Clementines Tea House on Mothers Day 2009.

Mom and i as i was leaving my baby shower,(hence my largeness lol)

A little background on my mom. In the past four years she has had ( in order)

-a major car accident

-Nerve damage

-Breast Cancer

-Severe breathing problems

-Shingles

-A slipped disk

-and now Hepatitis

Do you see why I am worried?

The doctor said while not airborne contagious, he would rather she stay away from the baby, meaning she cannot come to Hudsons one year bash this weekend. This makes me very very sad, my dad will however be there, and I love my dad, but my mom not being there really sucks.

When she told me, I was in the garage wrapping Hudsons gifts, When I got off the phone with her, I lost it, and just sat on the floor and cried.

I was up until 1am drinking wine and talking to my husband about it,then dragged my ass into work this morning.My poor mother has been through an immense amount of suffering and it's not fair, not much in life is, but this time, the god REALLY pissed me off.

Not to mention she has been trying to help out my grand mother who had a stroke three weeks ago. Now she is so tired she can't even do that. I feel like two of the closest people in my life are slipping away little by little.

Luckily I have the greatest support network of friends in the world, my Friend Michele who also has a parent who is very ill, has offered to put my mother on her prayer necklace, which I appreciate whole heartily. I love my friends and I do not know where I would be without them.

I read a quote today here it is:

I will pull myself together for Hudsons party tomorrow, and I plan to have a good time. But int he back of my mind,worry will prevail.

A whirlwind weekend

This weekend was July 4th weekend, it was also the weekend we got Hudsons 1 year old photos done (even though he wont be one until the 17th)We really had alot of great family time together. I wont bore you with details but here are the pics!

Our first professional family portraits, Hudson was SO good!

Little man outside sitting outside under the shade tree.

He saw this little girl at this party that we went to and was in LOVE.

He ran over to her and hugged her, then she asked if he could sit on the swing with her lol

SO cute!!!




We also took a trip to the lake,walked on the pier and played in the sand.

His eyes are the same color as the lake!

Hudson and dada at the lake


Hope your 4th was awesome!

Bag Lady

They say what’s in a woman’s purse tells a lot about who she is, here is what is in mine!
*5 Fruit Gum, I ALWAYS have to have gum on me to keep me from eating junk food at my weak points.

*My work pass( cant get through the gate without it!)
* a sharpie pen, a gals ALWAYS gotta have one, to “mark” her territory. Or to mark goodies in the office fridge with death threats if any one TRY to steal it.
*Rattail comb (for all those big hairdos) Pony tail holders (for when I need to get my hair out of my face) and a compact a dear friend brought to me from Kuwait.
*Vitamin D Pills (I am really really low on D) South Beach diet bar in Cinnamon Crunch, (for when I am stranded running errands with the little one) Propel fitness water ( I hate plain water, so to keep myself hydrated I have to “trick” my tastebuds into thinking it’s something tasty)
* Faux turquoise snakeskin pocket book (mainly holds charge cards or discount cards I rarely use,stamps,biz cards ect.
*I am a FREAK about lipstuff lol can you TELL? Here my two fave sephora lip glosses in Bronzed Beauty and Rosy Glow, Revlon super lustrous Lipstick in fuschia fusion.Cover Girl Lipslicks in Flirtatious,Maybeliine Color sensational in Mauvelous, I also have a tube of Aquaphor wich is a heavy petrolatum good for everything from chapped lips, to diaper rash, I ALWAYS have a tube with me! And also Aveda Blue Oil, a relaxing mint oil designed to be used on your pressure point, (I need this at work a lot)and AVON Bubble Gum Lipgloss
*1mb stick storage drive (ESSENTIAL for carrying around my resume and pics of the lil one )
*Coupon Folio (because when your broke like me you use coupons and OFTEN!)
* my Ipod ( CANNOT leave home without it, I have over 250 songs I like to rock out too!)
*Red Patent Wallet ( to hold Cards that I DO use frequently)
*(not pictured because I took pics with it) My ANDROID My TOUCH 3G, screw the Iphone, I LOVE this thing, it organizes my life and it is ALWAYS with me.

On this Date three years ago.....

I married my wonderful husband Bill, the day was beautiful, a huge lavish wedding just like I had always wanted, outside in the park near our house.the weather was a perfect 75 degrees with minimal humidity and as sunny as could be. It has been a somewhat bumpy three years, and they always say that the first 4 years are the hardest, boy are they right, but we are tough and we have come through everything even stronger. I love him for what he is and what he isn't,he is my everything.

On saturday, Hudson and I took a walk down to the place we got married, it was 8:30 am and it was almost as perfect outside as that day three years ago.

Hudsons eating his morning Cheerios on our walk

The gazebo where we got married

The inside view of the gazebo

My man shedding a tear

The big moment

Married at last!

The little man was VERY tired out after our tour!

DROOOOOOOLL

SO the Hubs and I went to Best Buy on Saturday and looked for computers, he was searching for an new PC I was searchign for the Mac I plan to buy in Sept.

I have always wanted a MAC and I promised myself that the next computer that I get would BE a MAC, If I am going to do it, Dammit I'm going to do it right!

I will need the computer to hold alot of data and also run Indesign, Dreamweaver and other various programs, sometimes simultaniously. And I love MACs user friendlyness.

So I am getting the MAC Book PRO:


2.4GHz or 2.53GHz Intel Core i5 processor with 3MB shared L3 cache; or 2.66GHz Intel Core i7 processor with 4MB shared L3 cache
4GB (two 2GB SO-DIMMs) of 1066MHz DDR3 memory; two SO-DIMM slots support up to 8

Mmmmm and a mean ass Graphics Card. I Cannot WAIT!

Photos never before seen

while digging around tonight, I found two photos from a professional pin up shoot I had done for my hubby years ago. Most photos are for his eyes only :) But here are two mild faves that I like, it was really before I was fully in my pin up stage. it's more "Rocker pinup" but pin up none the less :)

Great thursday off!

I took the day off yesterday, I needed a break big time, and I figured I would get a Thursday request off over a Friday request.

I packed up the kiddo and headed to my mom and dads house. It was a beautiful day out, we went to the beach and I let Hudson play in the sand and let the water wash over his little chubby toes for the first time, I thought this might freak him out, but he surprised me, and didn’t flinch or cry at all.

Hudson playing in the sand

After the beach we decided to head to the Ice Cream shop where we had orange sherbet twists, while Hudson had a frozen chocolate banana. I also saw someone I graduated high school with, He just happened to sit at the same table as us, with his little girl, and Hudson was trying to steal his fries! I sternly told Hudson, that those are not his fries to steal, and thankfully the guy said it was no problem if he wanted some, lol that kid is crazy for French fries! After sitting and talking for a bit, we realized we graduated from the same high school! It was neat to see some from I knew from so long ago. For those of you who read my blog that went to Admiral King, it was Kevin Patterson. He was real nice and his little girl was just a cutie! Hudson liked her too, flirted with her most of the time!

We finished the day off at my parent’s house, my mom played with Hudson while dad and I went out back and checked out his garden, my dads’ garden and landscaping is AMAZING!!! I only hope my yard looks like that some day!
Speaking of my garden, here are a few photos of mine!

Chives,sweet basil and cilantro

I took this photo a week ago, everything is WAY bigger now, I will have to post a newer pic.

My grandmother did in fact have a TIA (sorry I said it was a tsi in the last post) at any rate it’s a minor stroke, but it’s her second one, the doctor doesn’t want her to be alone for awhile, so she has to stay in a nursing home for two weeks, she isn’t so broken up about though really, she said she feels safer there. I may take Hudson on Sunday to go visit and cheer her up a bit!
Well that’s pretty much all for now, nothing really crazy exciting going on here, except the hubby and I are going out on Sat night for dinner and a movie, to celebrate our three year anniversary! I am definitely looking forward to a bit of mommy daddy time 
Have a great one!

Oh ok FINE you win lol

Thanks for the response to my prior post, I was just testing the waters to see if it was still something I wanted to do, because I like to share stuff with people, so if no one where reading, then it wouldn’t matter so much. But aside from seeing that many of you do read it, (I got even more responses via email). Then I will continue, also it is a nice way to keep a running tab on things that I have done,and is somewhat therapeutic at times lol.

When it rains….
I have still been crazy busy lately, I don’t know even where to start. Our home computer went down on Sunday night, we contracted the Conficker Virus, as I kindly refer to it as Conf**ker Virus. Because of the most constant “F**K!!!!!” That came out of my mouth as the virus quickly multiplied on my hard drive and infected EVERYTHING, I had to reformat the hard drive, which means I lost everything, photos that I had (though I had copied a lot of important ones to an external storage stick a day before this happened phew) Bill lost ALL of his Car Club stuff, and my ITunes was wiped clean, almost 200 dollars worth of music. UGH!! Luckily, I do still have my entire library in my iPod, I just have to figure out how to transfer it back to my computer. Anyways, in that mound of lost crap, was Hudson’s First birthday invite that I worked so hard on  that I think was what devastated me the most, but I DID find a print out I had done of it in the office, and thank god for that, I cant make any changes on it, but everything should be ok anyways, which is good, because the virus killed my cd drives, which means I cannot reinstall Photoshop  and re-do the invite. It is essentially Bills computer, so I am leaving it up to him to replace the drives or get a new PC. I my self am getting a Mac Book pro in sept, when I start school. So that should fix that whole problem.

My 89 year old Grandmother

My grandma, god bless her, is a true fighter, she has had colon cancer, breast cancer, knee surgery, and shoulder surgery, and came out on top, she is generally healthier than the whole family. But on Monday night she called my mom at 11pm. Said she was making out her bills and her left hand went numb and she couldn’t move it or pickup a piece of paper, she called 911 and thought she was having a stroke. They ran tests all night and couldn’t find anything, they are doing a MRI today, wich they have to knock her out for because she freaks out when she gets one. The think she may have had a TIA or a mini-stroke. I really hope she turns out ok.
BIG BABY NEWS!
Soooo. Hudson is mobile! TIME TO SCREW EVERYTHING DOWN TO THE FLOOR! I came home Friday from work and he ran right up to me, I about passed out! Then on his third try his promptly fell right on his face, smacking his forehead onto the hardwood floor, he’s got a nice bruise but it’s going away and he’s fine no brain damage LOL.He did however shy away from walking for the next few days after that lol. Stop to baby proof! Like NOW!! And time for mommy to do more core strength exercises! Because this bending over to help him walk is killing me! He is also eating everything, Avacados,blueberries,oatmeal, smaller chunks of meat, cooked carrots and peas. And he LOOOOOVEs a big bowl of noodles! He is also fond of rasin bread toast, the past few days he refuses to eat anything but, I gave him a real treat this morning and put some cream cheese on it, he REALLY liked that. Lol my little stinky man is growing up! (Sad face)

Great Fathers Day

For fathers day, my dad came out to my house and we went for a 12 mile bike ride in the metro parks near my house, I used to go on bike rides all the time with my dad back home, it was OUR thing, I miss it. We rode for a bit, stopped and ate, rode some more, stopped and bs’d rode some more ect. It was a beautiful sunny day , aside form the 90 degree humid weather, which you really didn’t notice until you stopped riding, then it was like walking into a blast furnace. I just love my dad 

Well that’s really it! I am off of work tomorrow; a friend of mine is coming home from Cincinnati. She is an amazing hair stylist and will be doing my hair at my mom’s house while Hudson visits with grandma. I am still undecided about whether or not I should have her but bangs, I end up hating them every time I get them, so maybe I won’t bother. Who knows we shall see. See you later!

By the way, i forgot to share, this is the beautiful Jade pearl Necklace my sister Dee brought me back from China! I LOVE IT!!!!!