Saturday, November 3, 2012

Parental Guilt

Lately, I have felt more and more guilty about not spending as much time with my son as I would like to.
It's a problem many working mothers face, whether you work in the home or outside the home, it is often tough to find a work family life balance.

I have worked almost four years on accomplishing this balance, just when I think I have it all figured out, something triggers the guilt inside of me, and I feel as if I am concentrating too much on housework that needs to be done, or being to selfish in wanting some time to myself, or my god sometimes just too pee for 2 minutes without an audience.

The other day as I was doing my usual routine of cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, my son ( who had asked me umpteen times to play cars with him while I was making dinner), hopped up on a kitchen chair, rolled up his sleeves and and said "mom I have alot of work to do, I am going to do the dishes"
While this was endearingly sweet, it bothered me, I thought, if children emulate us, then is this all that he is seeing? Me constantly cleaning? In ten years when he is much older, will I kick myself for not playing with him enough?

The answer is yes, but at the same time, how do you draw a line between what NEEDS to be done and what can be done later?

My wonderful husband helps out alot, more so than most husbands that I know, and for that I am grateful. But at the end of the day, running a  household and rearing a child takes alot of work and organization. I envy the people who have multiple children, I am afraid that I may never figure out how to balance things that well.

I'm sure we all think that we are bad mothers at one time or another, we yell we lose our cool, we do something "selfish" we "screw up" and undoubtedly "ruin our children for life" ,parenting is a journey of growth.

I'm going to try and just B R E A T H E

Know that I am doing the best that I can possibly do, and that as women, mothers, caretakers, nurturers, maids, booger wipers, tear wipers, wives, employees, ect. that we fricking ROCK and that we handle ALOT on a daily basis. And I think that we should be proud of that :)

So if you're a mom, and you are feeling that inevitable guilt that sometimes rears it's ugly head, know IT'S OK, YOU'RE SO NOT ALONE. Relax, step back, take stock, maybe you are doing too much, and if you are, take 15 minutes to get down on the floor and pay cars, or have an impromptu dance party, or tea party. The dishes CAN wait for 15 minutes I promise ( unfortunately the don't do themselves)
They are only young once, enjoy least that is what i am going to concentrate on :)
Tell me what you think.
XOXO Heather

No comments: