Monday, November 19, 2012

Let it go......

Throughout most of my adult life, I have tried to simplify things, to make things easier to just RELAX.
Relaxing isn't second nature to at ALL. I have been a nervous
stress case since I was a wee one. ( therapy anyone?)
I'm a constant worrier and my emotions are easily manipulated by the emotions of others.
This, in once sense, is good, it makes me responsive to peoples emotions, I can sense things.
I can in turn be supportive when needed.
But I wish I could turn that sensitivity down sometimes, 
I read way too much into other peoples emotions.
if I'm at work and I call my husband and he is having a bad day, he may sound stressed and then I take it personally, I know that 99.9 % of the time it is not ME making him that way, but it sets me off into a tizzy of worry. ( Omg what did I do wrong?)
Or say my boss is in a bad mood and says a quick strained "hi" in the break room, i immediately think "wow what did i do? OMG is she going to fire me?"
It's insane really!
I waste entirely too much time worrying about other peoples problems.
In turn I make myself nuts.
So today I had an Epiphany of sorts,
I was doing my usual workout session at the gym, I was cooling down and walking around the track,
running through all my worries of the day.
When it hit me...
What if.....
I just let it go.......Just let it all go.... not worry about any of it.
Really what WOULD happen? Let things work themselves out,quit pushing my way through life.
..let the universe unfold as it should, and meet it with no resistance.....
So I let go.........
and the release I felt was IMMENSE!!!
and for the next 5 minutes i could concentrate on myself!
..until I started freaking out again over this that and the other.
But the point here is, it is a start.
I feel like so often I force my way through life,
trying to control every single little thing that I could think  of,
to force it the way that I think it should be.
Well that's not life, Life is what happens when you are busy with everything else.
I don't generally like to make resolutions, but this year I may try to be more flowing, just go with it.
Life is too short to waste it on constant worry.
It's a new day.
xoxoxox Heather

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