To be a mother....

Sorry this has taken so long to post, I have to write a little bit each time that I have a chance, wich latley hasn't been alot lol, as you can understand, my life now revolves around bottles and diaper changes, cries and baby kisses. and of course not alot of sleep.

here is the story of Hudsons birth.

on Friday the 17th of July I awoke early, made my husband breakfast and we headed to the hospital for our scheduled section. I was so scared the entire drive there, but at the same time I was so compleltely ready to get it over with and meet my little man. Once we got there and got into the prep room, I got out of the wheelchair and compleltely broke down in tears, the pain in my back was so bad I couldn't walk even to the bathroom, even with the assistance of both nurses AND my husband, I wrapped my arms around my husband and cried as he held me and told me it would be over soon.

The nurses came in , hooked up my IV and then the Nurse Athesist,came in and explained everything to me, right off the bat I felt very comfortable with her, wich is a good thing considering she was going to be sticking a huge needle in my spine in a short matter of time.

They had Bill get dressed in his scrubs,and as I was being wheeled off to the OR, I think my sugar may have dropped and I got extremely anxious and fidgety and uncomfortable, it was a horrible feeling, almost like I wanted to jump out of the bed and run, I think it was a mix of fear anxiety and exhaustion, anyways, it was definitaley the worst part.

The OR was freezing,, they had me sit down on the table, wich hurt my back tremendoulsy. I sat straight up with a pillow infront of me , buring my face in the nurses shoulder, as they inserted the numbing agent then the spinal medicine, I began to feel alot of uncomfrotable pressure and stinging, but I just closed my eyes tight and used my yoga breathing to make it through. Then as soon as they said to me "ok your legs will feel warm them numb" my legs did indeed go warm

then numb, almost immediatley, and all that pain that I had in my hips and back for weeks, was gone, iwas relaxed and laid back for the procedure. it is entirley wierd to lay there, not being able to see what it goingon behind the blue sheet, KNOWING that they are cutting you open, hearing the sound of surgical instruments clanging togethor and smelling your burnt skin as the coterize your incision.Bill finally popped in and held my hand, by this pint I was in sort of a daze, they had out morphine into my IV and I was really sleepy.But I heard the radio playing, my doctor talking, the anthestisioligst, asking me if the nursery was done yet, and what were the colors, i answered back :yellow and blue" in a very slurred speech. Then wondered why she asked me that question so suddnely, what was going on behind the blue sheet? What was she trying to devert my focus from? Then I heard my doctor mention that I would be feeling alot of pressure as they tired to push the baby out from my abdomen, but he wouldnt budge, she mentioned that he was logded in my left hip area, wich makes PERFECT sense as to why that side of my back was so messed up for so long, his little head was stuck in there, finally after three nurses pushing on my , he popped out, and was born at 12:22 pm july 17. Approxomatley 6lbs 10 ounces and 19 inches long. Big baby my ass!!! He was a peanut! As they pulled himout I swear i heard my body go "ahhhhhhhh" as though it made a huge sigh of relief.

In short, he is the most perfect loveable little man I have ever laid my eyes on.

He is now almost two months old, is starting to focus intently on things, and smiles at us when we make funny noises or faces. he did for a period have colic, but we found it was linked to a milk allergy. So we put him ont he super mega expensive formula "liquid gold" i call it, because shit at 25 dollars for 12 ounces it might at well be gold, and it is just as valuable, our little guy is WAY happier, and so is his lil tummy. And if any of you have children with colic take this advice BUY GRIPE WATER!!!!! IT WORKS WONDERS!!!!I will update more soon, but this was just an overall "hey there" and to let everyone one know how it all went. Time as you can imgine is limited, when I get back towork I may have more time to update on my lunch breaks. And honestly i am looking forward to that. I have so much more to talk about, breastfedding, emotions,life in general. It'll be good. Well motherhood is now calling at the top of it's little lungs fromt he livingroom, so I need togo, but below are some new picks!!The first week home, look at how tired I look!!

About two weeks ago, with his girlfriend Delany, he doesn't know it yet, but thier getting married....somedayTaken last week, in his bath wich he LOVES!!!!!Tajen a few days ago, he LOVES to stare at the cieling fan!!