The final word

well...here I sit, 9 long tumultuous months, ( not ALL bad) coming to an end right before my eyes, some of you will even read this while I am in surgery.

Sitting here tonight with all the time inthe world to think, I am petrified, I haven't had major surgery since I had my tonsils removed at 5 years old!

But then a certain calm comes over me, maybe it's because I know I wont see my crutches again (hopefully) of mabye its the notion that this little being that is currently squashed in my midsection, will have a little face that I will be able to see tommorrow, and little eyes, that will stare back at me in confusion, while Bill and i stare in wonderment.

I know I may throw up, I know I will most likley be in some sort of pain, that it will be scary to think of being sliced open. But at the same time it is all so well worth it, and maybe even this whole horrible journey will be worth it. ( not to say that I am up to doing this again anytime soon if ever lol)

I am proud of my body for what it has accomplished, given my years of minor helath issues, I have always had a part negetive view of my bodys functions, I felt it really let me down a few times, but as of recent, those thoughts have diminished, my body put aside all of it's angst and issues, and did a phenominal job of creating a human living being. And I am very proud of my body for that, I will wear my stretch makrs and C-Section scar like a badge of honor. I worked for this, I fought for this. And baby Hudson will be my reward. Hello motherhood, here I come full force.