Friday, February 18, 2011

I cant wait!

Oh it feels like spring around here lately! 60 degrees today, that's nearly shorts weather people!!! I am in such a ridiculously bubbly mood lol.Got me thinking of all the things I cannot wait to do! Things like:

1.Go home and play with my little man, he is just SO full of energy and kisses!

2. Make pancakes and spend a lazy Sunday morning with my two favorite guys

3. Go for a fun outing to the mall on Sunday with my two favorite guys, then to Target to buy Hudson......

4. A sit and spin!
Do you remember these? I had one and was crazy about it!
We HAVE to get one,due to reasons you see below: yes he is missing a sock, a sock HE took off, yes he has no pants on,( sorry it's sideways I don't know how to fix that!)

5. Also thinking about redoing my stairway wall, like THIS courtesy of (I am momma hear me roar)

My stairway wall looks similar to the way this one is set up,so it should be fun to take down the wedding photos and put up pics of my beautiful family

6. And thinking about making these

Wich you can find the tutorial for here.

Sigh SO much to enjoy, so little time!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Let it be......

My mother used to have this necklace that as far back as I can remember, she used to wear, it’s a small gold cross, my grandfather gave her on her first communion, along side a small emerald and diamond pendant, hanging from a very delicate gold chain. She was wearing the cross in her engagement picture and many other pictures until her passing. She always had it on, she showered with it on , slept with it on, it was a part of her. Even if she was wearing other jewelry she usually had this necklace on underneath, hanging right above her heart.
When she passed and I was cleaning out her stuff, I packed up the delicate necklace because I couldn’t bear to even see it. I do wear one of her rings, it only fits on my pinky lol, and I occasionally look into her jewelry box that sits atop my dresser, and handle her rings and earrings, in an effort to feel close to her. But never bothered putting on the necklace.
Recently, my life has been in a bit of turmoil, I have done something’s that I was not proud of, and hurt people I never really wanted to. I let some people down, I miss my mom, I am frustrated with my career, a whole slew of things. As this has been going on, I keep feeling her necklace “call to me” a feeling and pull to put it on, the more I ignored it, the louder the call got.
My faith used to be and still is a big part of me, just a bit more subdued now that it used to be,I talk to God and Mom all the time, and based on the angel we saw the night mom died, I KNOW there is a higher power and seeing that angel just re-enforced it for me. I don’t want to say I have been “finding my way to god” but rather finding my way back in general to the faith that used to bring me peace. I do not go to church or participate in the sacrament, I believe in just “open faith”. In the point that I do not have to belong to a religion or church to have a relationship with God,he is all around and I can talk to him any time that I please.
Last night on the way home from work I was asking him to help me fully realize my blessings and help get me on the right path. I felt a sense of calm wash over me, and the call once again from that necklace tucked inside a satin bag in my linen closet.
I love my family, I love most of what my life has afforded me, and going through all of this has brought me closer to my faith,I know with that and help of my loved ones, I can move past this rough patch in my life.
Last night while Hudson was in the tub, I pulled out the necklace, cleaned it off, polished it up, and put it on……

It’s going to be a good year from now on……

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the brokenhearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be

For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer let it be
( From: )

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Yeah, let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

Friday, February 4, 2011

Lovely Friday

Good morning! It's Friday ( in case you didnt know) Here are some things that I am loving this week!

This Photo makes me so happy, I mean HELLO Purple and Leopard? Love it!

This Idea of turning a changing table into extra shelf space is right on!

And I just HAPPEN to have that same table! Already painted white!

Are these not the custest wedding invites ever? They are even in my wedding colors pink and green!

This is just an ad I saw on a website but OMG I WANT that dress!

See anything? Look again, there is a man who has painted himself into shelf!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

An uphill battle for a great cause.

So my big thing lately has been getting back in shape.After several false starts, I really think I am in a place where I can actually DO this. Besides I got a good reason to get in shape this time (ok there is always like half a million GOOD reasons) but the main one is that I will be walking in the Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk on May 21st. I honor of my mother who had survived breast cancer. It was a promise that I made my mother long ago, and what a perfect time to do it! Have a look at my team page here! It’s a really great cause, so if your available ( and obviously live here in Cleveland) please join my team Think Pink! Ineed people to walk with me, or if you want to donate you can also do it there! "My Team Page"

To get back in fighting form I have once again begun my Tony Horton Ten Minute Trainer, I LOVE Tony Horton, I don’t know, you ever just have a trainer you can CONNECT with? I think that is the reason most exercise programs fail, you have to connect with the trainer and the program, I gotta give credit to my friend Kristal for getting me hooked on Tony!

Tony Horton

Man, Machine, Inspiration!

I have also stopped mindless eating (that is really hard btw) and I try to keep healthy snacks around, drink water, all that jazz. In the end I know that it will pay off, I just have to know when to push myself and when not to, with my fibromayalgia, my body is only capable at so much at one time. But my goal is to get to a place where I can play baseball with Hudson when he is older and impress my husband with some athletic adventures 

Hope you have a safe and healthy day!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Up and Down Round and Round

Life has been a whirlwind of crazy at best, Life without my mother is still hard, the pain still burns me, It might take something small to send me into a fit of tears, a smell of her perfume, a tv show she used to like, it as in the case of last night, the last picture of her and I together. It sucks breaking down without warning, but it’s essential and necessary.
I often ask myself questions about her death.

Did she give up and purposely contract pneumonia because she just wanted it to all be over?
When she died and she went to heaven, did she look down and go
“well shit that sucks, didn’t really want THAT to happen”

Does she wish I really would have just come to see her the day she died and she told me that she was fine and not to bother seeing her?

These are questions as wacky as they may be play on my mind in endless patterns..

I know I will never get those answers from her, and I am surrounded by her beloved things and of course the note that she left me.

But sometimes in the quietest times, when I am all alone, it’s hard believe that she is gone.That I can’t just pick up the phone at 10 am and call her like I have every single day for years, and hear her voice on the other end going “hi punky!” or her asking “hows my sweetie pie?” (Hudson)

On the up side, my Logo design business seems to be gaining momentum, I have got requests coming in steady , so much so that I need to get my butt going on biz cards, I already have my logo sketches done and am working on getting those printed. Then I will probably open up a small shop on esty. Doing these things brings me great joy,and keeps me sane at my day job. It gives me hope that one day I will do what I love and never really WORK again.
Isn't that the dream of everyone?